On a sunny day before Easter in ‘75, a twenty-five-year-old high school English teacher lay in a hospital bed diagnosed with breast cancer. She was given a 30% chance of survival. I WAS THAT WOMAN.
The year was 1975. I had just completed a graduate course at Stony Brook University in which my professor was discussing women in literature. She stated how important it was for women to take responsibility for their bodies. I wonder if she ever learned that she saved my life. As I bathed listening to Barry Manilow singing “Mandy” on the radio, I examined my breasts for the very first time just like the professor had taught us. That turning point changed my life forever. I found a lump in my left breast. I have since given presentations at Stony Brook University, Relay for Life, at the Carol Baldwin Research Foundation, at Fran Drescher’s “Cancer Schmancer” group, Vanderbilt University Breast Center in Nashville and as Ms Senior America with hundreds of appearances across the country. I have been asked many times why it is so important to me to share my personal experience with others. After meeting with survivors aged 15 to 84 and hearing their concerns, questions and lessons in courage, I realized that this was bigger than I. I see myself as a symbol of hope and strive to inspire and empower others. Anything can happen; you never give up no matter what! One woman said to me:”This is the crown you will wear for life.” There were no computers, cell phones, support groups, or even mammograms offered in 1975. No one was talking about breast cancer. My students even thought they could catch it. Early on, I recognized the choice I had: hope vs hopelessness. I strived for a positive attitude while combining a balance spiritually, physically and mentally. I became a Survivor-Thriver who refused to let cancer define me as a person. It was what I had-not who I was. Visualization techniques, prayer and meditation made me feel more centered. I realized the value in exercise in healing while squeezing a tennis ball 50 times a day while walking my arm up a hospital wall in order to gain strength on my left side A year later, I won my first tennis tournament at Ocean Bay Park.
Surrounding myself with positive people empowered me in avoiding negativity and tears from those that had given up on me and who subconsciously prevented me from getting well. Norman Cousin’s book:”Anatomy of An Illness’ gave me hope. Given only a few months to live, he wrote about his experience using laughter to relieve his pain and help with his recovery. He did not die for twenty years, while helping to prove that laughter and humor can have a curative effect on one’s mind, feelings and body. When I was laughing, I didn’t have time to think about my diagnosis. Laughter also encouraged others to be around me so that I could heal faster. Lipstick, a white peignoir and even perfume while walking the corridors with my IV machine helped me feel special. I was allowed to read to the children admitted with serious illnesses during my three week stay. They did not see my “illness” and thought I might be a princess. Dr. Bernie Siegel, in his book: “Love, Medicine and Miracles” poses the question: ‘ What will this disease permit me to do?’ What chances are you willing to take and what life changing experiences will you allow yourself to experience? After winning the National Pageant at age 60 I became a motivational speaker around the country, had a successful Cable TV show in which I received 42 government proclamations, was a featured extra in movies and on TV. I also became a model with 72 magazine covers. I received “model of the year award 2025,” from celebrated humanitarian designer, Pamela Quinzi this past year. I learned how fortunate I am being able to give back to others. “Paying it forward” has become an integral part of my life. I am an International, worldwide Ambassador of the “Cinderella of New York!” Pamela has empowered so many women celebrating inclusion and diversity enabling women to step into the spotlight feeling special. She has encouraged all to embrace their journeys including not only showcasing them in magazines but also in her “Cinderella” contests. Our original Cinderella, Pamela embodies living proof that your dreams can come true. So many have overcome tragedy because of her dream helping others with her Kilame and Melapa fashions. When William Shakespeare stated “ How sweet are the many uses of adversity,” I can only think of all the good that has come from these experiences. I am discovering daily what the humorist Sam Levenson already knew: “You have two hands: one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”
PH credits: Shelly Cohen
Media/PR @melapainternational
Waves and runways 